“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer…It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, GAY, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.”

Barack Obama shone a powerful light on gays and lesbians when he said those words in his acceptance speech last night. I woke up last night and had to pinch myself to remind myself that it was true that we elected Obama as President. I was too giddy to sleep.

Then I heard the news that California’s Proposition 8–the repeal of legal gay marraige–passed, and the joy I felt last night–which I knew couldn’t last for long–is today mixed with hurt and sadness and anger.

To be claimed as part of the fabric of America one moment and the next moment torn out of that same fabric–this is the painful schizophrenia of being gay in America.